Not meant to be

Last week I went in for a doctor's appointment and found out that the baby was no longer alive. According to the ultra sound, the baby's heart had stopped beating about a week before. This was quite a suprise because I had no signs or symptoms that something was wrong. So at 11 weeks along I had a decision to make; to wait and miscarry the baby naturally or have a D&C procedure done. I chose the later. I guess some things are just not meant to be. I do have a lot to be grateful for, though; a wonderful husband who I love dearly and two cute little boys that I absolutely adore. Life has lots of ups and downs that makes us just a little crazy sometimes, but in the end there are always reasons for the way things happen and I just need to keep reminding myself that there is a much bigger picture that we can't always see.